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Full moon, and female rain–that’s what the Dineh call these long, soaking, gentle days: as opposed to male rains, which are the lightning storms, sudden and dramatic, an onslaught that is quickly over.
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Full moon, and female rain–that’s what the Dineh call these long, soaking, gentle days: as opposed to male rains, which are the lightning storms, sudden and dramatic, an onslaught that is quickly over.

My apologies to my newsletter family—I promised a good sweat and I did not deliver! Let me tell you about my dear friend Joe Pye.
There is a strong oral history about Joe; some say he was a Mohegan healer, some say he was a freed slave. In any case his power of healing was such that even now, hundreds of years past his time, this amazing plant still bears his name here in the Appalachians—far south of where he wrought his cures during typhus outbreaks in New England. Continue reading
I woke up buoyant this morning. Rose-gold early morning sunlight was just starting to filter through the leaves of the tulip poplars into my bedroom. A few shreds of my dream still lingered, something about dancing in the night, in a clearing. I started to reach for my phone to check the time. Something stopped me.
Instead I noticed the soft weight of my hair on my shoulder. After last night’s sweaty contra dance I celebrated with a long, candlelit shower, pouring rosemary infusion through my hair…now the scent of rosemary lingered there, a fragrance in the morning, mingling with the warmth of my quilt in a sleepy cocoon.
I noticed how clean this cool air feels as I breathe it in, here in the mountains. My feet were tingling from last night’s long barefoot dance. I drew my knees up to my chest and hugged them in, breathing slow. Continue reading
Slowly, as friends and family find this blog, I am discovering it is harder and harder to tell the truth. The whole truth, I mean. It’s easy to write the sugary bits and tie them together with swooping metaphors and a moral at the end, but the really gritty stuff gets harder and harder to write. Why is that?
I was talking with my housemate today about singing: it is so much easier to do in front of strangers. I had no trouble whipping out my guitar and playing eight original songs to a club packed with strangers last summer at the Viper Room. But when I’m asked to play for people I know…that’s hard. I think it has something to do with the fact that my friends are stuck with me. They can’t walk away, for fear of hurting my feelings, and they are sort of duty-bound to scrape up something nice to say at the end. Ouch. Strangers, on the other hand—they’ve got no reason to clap; so if they do, they must genuinely like it. Or, they’re drunk.
So I’m beginning to wonder if life is like this—if we save our deepest truths for strangers, if we set up our lives to avoid intimacy with the ones we are closest to. As an aspiring counselor, this interests me very much. Time after time, studies of therapy show that it is the quality of the therapeutic relationship itself that is the greatest predictor for healing. Even though the answers are coming from within, even though it is not the therapist’s job to give advice, somehow the quality of the relationship is the vital piece. Is it because the therapist is a stranger? Is it because we are safe in the borders of that room, knowing we’ll never have to face up to the truths we told there again? Can that be right? Continue reading
Each man takes care that his neighbor shall not cheat him. But a day comes when he begins to care that he does not cheat his neighbor. Then all goes well — he has changed his market-cart into a chariot of the sun.
~Ralph Waldo Emerson
Recently I’ve moved into a home in Boone that is beyond perfect. Bamboo floors, deck aerie, lots of garden space, a stained-glass yoga/meditation sanctuary, a shower with TWO massaging nozzles (!), set way up in the mountains amidst ravines and gorges and soaring trees. I wake each morning to the sun dancing on the floor, filtered through layer upon layer of mountains and leafy trees. I am so blessed.
The previous inhabitants of this house had, ooh, different methods of appreciating it. The landlord did a lot of work, but signs remain–broken glass scattered throughout the lawn, piles of beer cans in the woods, and most obvious of all, the remains of a huge bonfire in the backyard into which had been put (if I hazard a forensic guess) most of a bed, several semesters’ worth of textbooks, and a lawn chair. Plus at least three quarters of the contents of an ABC store.
This morning, preparing my tea in the kitchen, I looked out at the ugly heap of twisted metal and ash and knew it was time to start a garden. Continue reading
I write this from Boone, North Carolina; I moved here yesterday to begin a master’s degree in expressive arts therapy. The air here is cool, with that slight edge that whispers of coming autumn, lightly scented with apples and woodsmoke. The mountain roads are lined with echinacea and blackberry.
Walking on the street this morning I came across two women bent over the carcass of a goldfinch that had flown into a window. They invited me to help them with a ceremony, and together we placed the tiny body in the grasses and wished its spirit well. From my medicine bag I took some acorns harvested from the tree we camped beneath at the elements gathering and placed them by its side. I thought of how the things we see reflect our inner questions. I listened for this tiny bird’s message: pay attention. move slowly. don’t fly full-bore into walls.
I remembered when I was eighteen, studying permaculture and ecopsychology at the Findhorn community in Scotland. Each morning I walked the gorse-lined dunes to the soft shoreline of the Firth. One stormy day I came upon the carcass of a bird washed up among the driftwood. That afternoon I sat down and wrote this song. Continue reading
A weird thing happened the first week of June. June! You know, that lovely, gentle month when everything is just beginning and the air is soft and scented and the soil is warm so the garden is really beginning to take off? When the rivers are calling out for you to swim in them and every weekend has a new puppet festival or outdoor theater celebration? Yeah, I spent that precious first week of June indoors. Continue reading
This past week I took the boys and joined the inimitable Michelle Wilde at the weeklong Elements Gathering. We made cordage with wild dogbane, we carved raw alabaster into fetishes, we sewed and beaded braintanned buckskin medicine-bags, we started fires, we gathered food, we baked acorn bread, we wove baskets. My children went feral before my eyes, bartering for knives, setting traps, crafting their own belts and clothing from the desert landscape.
Every evening (rather surreally in this landscape of buckskin loincloths and flintknapping) there was world-class music. I wrote this reflection by lantern-light after listening to William Close play the Earth Harp. If you click on the link there, you will see a very professional and las vegas-y presentation of what the earth harp is. My experience of it was far more…well…elemental. I could feel the music rising up the ground through me, humming out all of the sadnesses and rough edges and deeply-carried emotions. I understood sound healing for the first time. In the context of the week, it was a life-changing experience.
Years ago, my friend Bud Howell introduced me to primitive skills and accompanied me to Tom Brown’s tracking school. In those weeks of tracking and shelter-building I could feel the beginning of something large and vital, but it fell by the wayside as the years went on. Now I had found it again. I felt as though I’d been watering one tree all of my life, and suddenly had learned that my life is not one tree. My life is an ecosystem, layered with shrubs and vines and groundcovers, and for the first time all of them were watered at once, and the raw bits and ends of my life started to cycle round and support each other. There’s really no way to put it into words. But this is what I wrote as it happened:
Last night was pure magic. These two friends of mine, Briana and Laura, they each hold a certain power. When we get together, the world changes in a tangible way. When I am with Briana, men turn up out of nowhere and shower us with flowers. I end up feeding strangers truffles with my fingers. When I am with Laura, heads turn and people deferentially ask if they may photograph us.
Yes, both Laura and Briana are phenomenally beautiful, but this is Santa Monica, California. Every third person is blonde, buxom, blue-eyed, and bikini-clad. It’s not external beauty that draws this magic in. It’s Laura’s radiance, Briana’s creative passion for life, that diffuse out into the world like cartoon fingers and beckon everything in so that life, ideas, intention, pleasure all magnify and swirl around them in clouds of color and joy.
We all got together on Skype a few months ago and set an intention to create a pleasure workshop combining all of our talents–Briana’s jawdropping gift for milking the pleasure out of every moment, Laura’s boundless and inspiring artistic abilities, and my love of plant medicine–into one evening of sensuous celebration. Last night that intention bore fruit. Continue reading